So this is part one of our multi-part look at the Devil's role in goofball sexploitation flicks. And we're starting off with a doozie of a nudie cutie. From the way gone year of 1964, back before the average, or even the decidedly unaverage, sex film could show all the goods, it's My Tale is Hot, starring...well, honestly, no one you know.
Nudie cuties were basically filmed burlesque shows with the flimsiest of plots grafted on to string together all the scenes of hot chicks taking off their clothes and randomly posing for a few minutes. They were usually about some dumb shlub who comes into possession of a magical way of traveling around and seeing naked ladies. Something like a pair of x-ray glasses, or a potion that turns him invisible, or a genie. He never has sex with them or anything, and most of the time, he doesn't even touch them or interact with them in any way. They are this way because 1) they want to maintain an air of innocence and not get busted for showing actual sex with all the nudity, and 2) usually over half the girls were stock footage from some otehr source, spliced into the film.
In the case of My Tale is Hot, which executes the formula to a T, the shlub is some dude who escaped from a Univision comedy series, and the mechanism by which he is able to peep at naked women is The Devil. You'd think that with doing things like arranging genocides and writing heavy metal music all the time, Satan wouldn't have time to waste tempting some jackass with a 3 Stooges haircut to look at pretty girls, but whatever.
This Satan is exactly what you think Satan looks like: a dude with a goatee and a metallic red leotard and horns. It's the same get-up worn by Anton LaVey whenever he would do his Church of Satan thing. Man, can you believe some assholes took that seriously? I mean, the guy is wearing a novelty devil outfit and playing the calliope! And yet people took that shit seriously, both Satanists and Christians. Or are Satanists Christians? I assume they are, technically, just on the other side. Anyway, point is that I can't believe people looked at LaVey traipsing around in his devil suit and thought, "Yeah, this shit's for real!" I'm not saying that he didn't have an awesome thing going, and his spookaphone rendition of "Hello Central, Give Me No Man's Land" is as moving today as it wast the day he first recorded it. But really, the same cult could have sprung up in the name of that dude who dresses like the devil and runs up the Alps during the Tour de France.
Anyway, the Satan in this movie is mostly interested in helping Mario from the Nintendo games look at tits, and if that's the devil's mission in life, I for one can't criticize him.
Somehow, that dude got himself a super hot wife who looks like Lisa Montell and enjoys gardening in her panties. So apparently the guy already sold his soul to the devil once. The guy's name is Ben-Hur Ova, because that's just plain high-larry-ous, and he's just been named the world's most faithful husband, or something like that. I don't know exactly how one faithful guy can be more faithful than another faithful guy. I mean, it's easy to measure the most unfaithful, but once you clock in at zero cheats, I don't how you determine whose zero is better. But that's why I don't run these sorts of polls. Anyway, when you catch an eyeful of Ben's wife, it's not hard to understand why he stays at home.
Still, no matter how hot your own wife may be, it never hurts to let your eyes wander, unless of course, you get caught. But with the devil at your side, one assumes a certain degree of protection from getting busted. And the devil indeed appears to tempt poor Ben with an endless parade of naked flesh and big early 1960s asses and titties. And since the devil has no problem tempting me...
Along the way, Ben and Satan get to crack lots of one liners, some of which might even be considered funny by people like me who still laugh at Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. But mostly, this film is a showcase for truly bizarre set pieces, naked women, and Ben making a variety of silly faces. It's sort of like a Benny Hill skit if Benny had been allowed to show more boobs.
Director Bethel Buckalew, here working under the imaginative pseudonym of Seymour Tuchus, had a long and storied career in cheeseball sex films, often working alongside exploitation pioneers like Dan Sonney and Harry Novak. My Tale is Hot is actually one of his funnier films, and at a brisk one hour running time, it doesn't overstay its welcome -- assuming that it's even possible for any movie comprised entirely of scenes of the devil and a short guy with a greasy mustache looking at stripping women to overstay its welcome.
Eventually, it all ends up with Ben becoming a sheik in an indoor gazebo.
All in all, one of the better nudie cuties. It's actually sort of funny, and it has a guy in a devil outfit making funny faces. It should also be noted that the devil has a pretty sweet harem, complete with a super sexy devil girl who, unfortunately for the audience, never doffs her little devil outfit.
My final rating:
Exhibit A: Erin Grey as Wilma in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.
And lest you think I'm leaving someone out...